Written reflections after my month off of social media

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Photo by Mac McDade on Unsplash

For the past two years I have used the month of July for a social media reset where I do not engage in social media (for me that mainly means Instagram), I delete the app, and I observe what removing it from my work and life is like.

When I first initiated the Social Media Reset at Best Today® my intent was to help the women in my audience learn more about social media’s role in their lives by removing it for 31 consecutive days. What many shared throughout the month and afterward is (1) they didn’t miss social media at all once the first several days passed (2) some experienced fewer headaches and less mental stress (coincidence, I don’t think so), (3) many picked up old or new hobbies that they thought they didn’t have time for (4) almost all of us were reading more and (5) many continued on past the 31 days.

To be clear upfront, I do not think that omitting social media from your life is a solution within itself to living a more intentional, healthier life. It’s easy to stop one drug and replace it with another. But, what I have learned from my experience this July is that even with healthy boundaries—I don’t follow anyone on my work Instagram account and I spend very little time consuming content and when I do it’s from a small handful of people I enjoy—I still like life better without social media.

I enjoy life better without it….

“The problem is they want us to think that we can’t live life without it.” I said this while talking with a friend a few weeks ago.

Of course I’ve been asked the “but how will I…” questions—how will I know what’s going on here or there, how will I keep up with friends, how will I know when X is having a sale, how will I…. and the list goes on.

First. Chances are if you’re reading these words you’ve lived life before social media. You know how to call a friend, write a letter, or host a dinner to connect with friends. You likely know how to start a blog to share your thoughts. There are alternative ways to achieve the meaningful things that social media (and technology in general) has aided us to do within our lives and amongst one another.

Second, and of more importance, you know that life can be good, joy-filled, meaningful, full of deep connection, and fulfilling without social media being a part of it.

My first reflection, therefore, is I simply enjoy life better without it. And this connects to the second thing that I noticed this year.

Relinquishing myself from social media also broke my need to have my phone in my presence. My need to capture everything via pictures on my phone decreased. I started to work with my phone in a separate room and the overall time spent with my phone in my hand decreased significantly.

I spent more time away from my phone.

While working I would think of something I wanted to text a friend and rather than get up, I jotted it down on my Clear Your Mind pad and kept working. I noticed that my mind would occasionally find reasons to “need” my phone. I didn’t need my phone. Picking it up wasn’t an option because not only was it not in arms reach, it was in a different room on the other side of the house.

In July I read more, wrote more, napped more, walked more (my morning sunrise walks were everything!), connected with friends more than any other month this year. Much of this is the spillover effect of one conscious decision to delete social media and not engage in it for 31 days.

Many times the good things that we are looking for are in the spillover or ripple effect from making one beneficial decision.

I wasn’t looking for a way to spend less time with, or on, my phone. I thought that my phone usage was well boundaried (I may have made up that word) but as I said before, I enjoy life better with my phone being away from me the majority of my day and night.

How it connects + why it matters

My desire is to live an intentional, healthy, joyful life. One part of this is taking inventory of what gets my time, energy, resources and attention. 24 hours is both a lot and a little once you account for sleep, exercise, showering/bathing, taking care of others if that is a part of your current season, commutes, eating well, cleaning/home maintenance, and work. Oh, and let’s not forget time to do absolutely nothing.

What gets my time has to be top tier.

I also must be aware of what depletes my energy, time and resources. Tiny breaks to pick up my phone add up. Consuming content that leaves you frustrated, angry, depleted or feeling off (using words from my audience about how they feel after heavy social media use) is not a top tier use of your time.

In this instance I am speaking mainly about our phone and social media usage, but know that this can apply to many things beyond those two. When was the last time that you took inventory of what you give your time, energy, resources, and attention? Could looking at your phone usage be a good place to start for you? Somewhere else? Would creating better defaults be helpful for you?

It doesn’t stop with stopping.

Choosing to stop one thing without having a plan on what you will replace it with can often lead back to the place where you started. For me, the reason that I was reading and writing more while off of social is because I made a plan for it. When I was somewhere waiting alone (a waiting room, arriving early for a lunch meeting) I had a book with me so that I would choose that over reaching for my phone.

When I saw how much deep work I experienced while working away from my phone, I continued to work away from my phone and have continued to do so beyond July.

Understanding the reason behind our choices is vital. If I stop doing X just to say I stopped doing X, with no understanding of why I stopped doing X, what’s to keep me from doing X again or something that is X-ish or worse than X?

Right now I am reevaluating the commonness of “needing” or using my phone so often. For all the ways we’ve been brainwashed to think there is no alternative to being connected to our phones 24/7 (or that the alternatives are archaic), I am finding that I do not need my phone to do most of the things I want and need in any given day —enjoy quiet time in the morning, go for walks, exercise, connect with others, write, create, lead, teach, parent, drive, sleep, eat, shower, bathe.

Protecting my mind.

Choosing to live life intentionally requires that I protect my mind. You likely already know that the mental health of humans in 2023 is on a sharp decline. Social media is not the sole culprit, but it is one of the villains in the league (especially among our youth). If my mind isn’t given time to immerse in the things that matter to me and in truth, what am I giving my mind over to? Who is really forming my thoughts and opinions? Who (or what) is shaping what truth is?

The amount of time I spent thinking, writing, and creating in July reminded me of how important those three things are for me. If I could trade 10 minutes of time on my phone for 10 minutes of thinking, writing, studying, reflecting, or creating, it is an exchange well worth making.

Episode 128 of the Best Today® podcast has more of my reflections from the middle of July, you can listen to it here. For now, these are some of my real-time thoughts as I unpack how I want to move forward.

Next Steps

• I have decided to stop posting on my personal Instagram (this is where I share photos of my family only to people I know) and move to a locked family blog. I actually started a locked family blog over 10 years ago. I’m picking it back up and that is where I will share with our family and friends what’s going on in our family. I’m really excited because again I get to write and share but in a space that I control and a space where my friends and family can hear from us without any outside noise.

• I’ve created this alternative to Instagram which I shared about here. I’ll use this to share sporadically as I choose.

• I created this space, For Those on the Journey, so that I could use my time to write to an audience who chooses to be here.

• School starts for us next week. Starting the first day of school and beyond I will plug my phone up and put it away when we get home from pickup. I will read in bed at night instead of let something on a streaming service lull me to sleep during the week to ensure I am well rested.

• I’m not sure what type of dance I will do with Instagram for work. But I’m sure when I figure it out I will let you know. I am taking intentional steps to use it less and less and eventually not at all.

I’ll leave you with this one thing I shared above.

Many times the good or better thing that we are looking for is in the spillover or ripple effect from making one beneficial decision.

I pray that you have the courage to make the one beneficial decision needed for your life. You are worth the effort it takes.